Christmas Music is probably the worst music next to Disco Polka which is hopefully a genre that doesn't exist, I mean disco polka is the taste equivalent of eating pig's feet in garlic jello which is something that actually does exist.
As I've said in previous blogs, I worked in a restaurant and could only handle the shit for so long, and don't know how retail could deal with it around this time of year. There are however those few songs that slip through the cuffs of every genre and catch your ear, even if it's themed in a jolly ollie yuletide cantation.
My problem with any holiday's music is that, there's no depth. While Halloween has Thriller (the unofficial one), and Easter has Peter Cotton Tail which is about IT for those holidays plus a few others, Christmas has this long historical mess of of regurgitated nonsense about snow, presents and shit we'd never think of doing now that technology has come into play. (Like who really roasts fucking chestnuts on an open fire?)
My point is the songs are shit even if they are "timeless classics". You want to hear a "timeless classic" listen to Mozart's "Ecco la Marcia from The Marrica of Figaro" or "The Requiem" which still smash top 100 on the classic U.S. billboard charts (suck shit Frosty I don't see you don't that.)...but I digress.
If the originals are that bad, what makes em worse? Cover Songs. Ya let's take "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" and strap country music to it. Let's just strap rockets to my ass while I drink some gasoline too and see what happens. But let's face it, that's all anybody has to offer when it comes to Christmas songs unless they want to be creative for just 2 months of the year, but who wants that? (My reference back to regurgitation.)
However, I've found some songs that might be the cure. I can't believe I'm saying this. My favorite CHRISTMAS Songs. To get you through the holidays. (In no particular order)
The Ramones - I Don't Want To Fight
- This one might be a little old school, but it's original, it's punk and it's the fucking Ramones. So live up to that trendy $75 licensed Ramones t-shirt you bought and learn at least one song by them!
Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
- Being a band from one of the coldest cities in the U.S. Fall Out Boy nailed it with this awesome little acoustic ballady song. It's nothing super fancy, but it's different, and new.
New Found Glory - Nothing For Christmas
- Staying right on the pathway of acoustic songs is NFG with this song that I heard for the first time this year and thought was Simple Plan.
Corey Taylor - XM@$
- Corey Taylor is the man hands down. Who would've ever thought the destructive vocals behind the band Slipknot could put out something so awesome. Truth be told I never liked Slipknot, and now I love the band.
Neck Deep - December (Again)
- For a "not so Christmas song" it's a Christmasy one especially for anyone who has just broken up with someone and has to spend the holidays alone. Plus, Mark Hoppus.
MxPx - Punk Rawk Christmas
- This is one punk band with Christmas vigor. Every year for over a decade MxPx has pumped out a BRAND NEW Christmas song for their fans. This is one of my favorites.
blink 182 - I Won't Be Home For Christmas- I dare not build a pop-punk list without including at least 1 blink-182 song on it. This is my favorite of the handful of blink Christmas songs.
(Happy Holidays You Bastard is kinda short.)
Dropkick Murphys - The Season's Upon Us - DKM have always been more appropriate for another holiday full of fighting and drinking, St. Patty's Day. But they dished out this lovely tune which is about how their family spends time together during the holiday season.
NOFX - XMas Has Been X'ed - Never shy about their religious and political views, NOFX poke fun at religious rhetoric and nonsensical droll that comes with the holidays.
Tim Minchin - White Wine In The Sun - This is my FAVORITE Christmas song EVER. Even though Tim kind of contradicts the whole religious aspect of Christmas in the most intellectually lyrical condescending ways possible, he grasps every point of the holiday's meaning to him, his family.
HEY! So I figured I'd end on my favorite. If you want to check out a few more or hear them together, check out The Pop-Punk Dad YouTube Playlist by CLICKING HERE! that I made where you can find the alternate blink-182 songs, the one cover song that I like and a song by Sum 41 ft. Tenacious D a bunch more!
Also, check out The Pop-Punk Dad merch store for holiday tees, mugs, and hoodies and a bunch more!
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