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Halloween Cat Costumes

--------Does this seem a little cliche'? A little out of character of me? Halloween costumes for pets? No way. I have a cat. I would say that I have 2, but my other cat is an asshole and I don't like to accept that responsibility as my own. Let's face it, if you have a cat, all of them are assholes, but this other one, is a giant fucking asshole. It's a feather duster of an animal that doesn't give a shit about personal space knocks over coffee cups, sleeps in shoes, leaves giant patches of fur around the house and the only good thing it's for is killing bugs. Sally is an asshole.--------

Captain Cat Jack Sparrow

Jack is cool. Yes. We have Jack and Sally. Jack is a one eyed, one testicle cat that we found wandering around our back alley one day. We opened the door, he wasn't skittish, he came right in our house like he owned the place, jumped up on our kitchen chair and clapped.

...yes, no typo...clapped. For treats. He touches his ears when he wants you to pet him and he chases his tail when he wants you to rub his body. He's one of a kind. Not like this Voldemort fucking asshole cat. FUCK YOU SALLY.

Look She Won't even let Jack Sleep...bitch...

Sally Fucking Asshole Cat

We also have a hamster which Ava named Daisy (too much Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.) It doesn't bite, the cats are cool with it, when you say "Daisy-Bo" it comes out to the front of its cage to get treats, and it lets you hold it.

All in all we have a good set of pets and we agree that we have too much shit going on in our lives to get a dog.

Dogs are too much: "Wag wag, hey what the fucks up! Lick lick. I missed you. Hey yo! I've been barking and whining all day! Them new $40 shoes were SOOOO GOOD you gotta buy more of those for me to chew on." And I'm too much "Get the fuck away from me PLEASE!"


So let's talk about how stupid I thought it would be to buy costumes for these fuzzy fucks. And the toys, and the little houses, and the cat nip, and little hamster cars. That is until, you buy one...rather than one is bought and you see how miserable and/or fun they have with it. Misery as in "they make that face that Ralphie did in that bunny outfit from "A Christmas Story."