7 Weirdest Bands Today

September 7, 2017

If you have a diverse musical pallet like myself, then you've probably crossed paths with some of these bands, had yourself a chuckle, and moved on. Or who knows, maybe you've become a Juggalo, I don't know, I'm not one to judge, that much. (Who's goin chicken huntin?')

 

The tale of this blog begins with my doctors visit, that's right, my pudgy ass goes to the doctors. We talk more than just anal warts and rubber gloves (is that breaking HIPPA?) Doctor B. is a funny dude, I told him about the blog, and we always get on the topic of music because he remembers the bands I've been in, and then we started talking about strange bands and sub-genres. He said something about Baby Metal. 

"Really?! Baby Metal? He knows about that? Fuck yeah." 

And then things took a left turn. And this is where we begin.

Although some of these bands we didn't cover, it's important to know that we did talk about some of them. First up a band that I found while skimming through Instagram over the summer.

 

The Garden

 

I follow Epitaph Records on Instagram. These guys came through my feed one day and have been one of the strangest experiences of 2017 that I've ever heard. Twin brothers Wyatt and Fletcher Shears started the band in 2011 and have put out 4 EPs and 2 LPs since then touring practically all over the world.

 

Creating the term "Vada Vada" which means to them "total freedom of expression" which is definitely seen in their off the wall music videos and well known antics on stage. I can't figure out what draws me to watch their music videos, it's like I hate to like them because they are so fucking weird, they're like an artistic musical oddity that I can't stop starring at.

 

 

GWAR

 

It's almost unfair to talk about the bizarre of bands without mentioning the kings of strange, Gwar. I've seen Gwar twice live, and neither time did they disappoint. If you don't want to be sprayed with blood, urine, feces, or semen stand far, far away from the stage. Oh, it's all fake, I think. Yes they've been bringing shock value to the stage since 1985.

 Although no original members of the band exist, each member still brings their own grotesque costume to the stage, from giant painted 3 piece bodysuits with matching masks to cock pieces that shoot out artificial semen and blood. Along with the semen and blood, the band also has crazy stage performances that bring on giant foam dragons slain by band members that sprew more, (you guessed it) blood. The decapitation of political and celebrity figures like Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, and Bam Margera.

 

Die Antwood

 

Between 2011 and 2015 you may or may not have skipped right the hell over Die Antwood. By far their hit "I Fink U Freeky" is the tamest what you'll see from them. The hip-hop duo of Yolandi and Ninja hailing from South Africa who have the strangest videos accompanied by some of the most intense yet appealing music I've heard in a while.

 

Each video is of some awesomely strange imagery directed by Ninja. The band signed to Interscope Records in 2010. In 2011 they had a falling out and started their own label Zef Recordz where they released their 2nd through 4th albums. In 2015 the band was even featured in the Hugh Jackman Sony film Chappie about a robot that started to feel more than an AI consciousness.

 

Metalachi

 

Take your favorite classic metal songs and metal bands now strip them down and add a mariachi band and you have Metalachi. Yes I know, it's a crazy weird concept, but so are choco-tacos and look how fucking awesome those things are!  

 

Howard Stern is even quoted as saying "a perfect merging of metal and mariachi" while they were on America's Got Talent. The guys ended up making a few rounds on the show which got them quite the publicity and kickstarted TV performances, radio shows, a US tour and 2 albums.

 

Okilly Dokilly

 I know what you're thinking, "What in the ding dong diddley doo fuck is this shit about?" No it's not a Breaking Bad sequel. The Okilly Dokilly's are the first and only metal band inspired by Ned Flanders of The Simpsons. All of the members dress to look exactly like him. 

 

The band hails from Phoenix, Arizona, a majority of the band's lyrics are direct Ned quotes. The band's members include Head Ned, Red Ned, Thread Ned, Stead Ned and Bled Ned and they have an album called, (you fucking guessed it) "HOWDILLY DOODILLY" out now.

 

Mac Sabbath

While we're still on this insane fucking parody wagon, let's talk about Mac Sabbath. If you didn't have this Meth-ed out Ronald McDonald in front of you as a visual what would you think Mac Sabbath would be? Well these guys are as you guessed the characters from the McDonald's crew, with a twist. They take songs from the band Black Sabbath and change the lyrics to basically promote how corrupt the fast food industry is. Pretty awesome, except it's creepy as fuck.

I mean you got the fucking Hamburgler on drums looking like Peter Chris from KISS, Grimmace big dopey purple ass playing bass, Mayor Mc Cheese on guitar and the clown prince of calories himself belting out lyrics. All the names are changed of course for copyrights. The band has made a ton of waves in the last few years, and has actually went on tour with both Okilly Dokilly and Metalachi.

 

AnklePants

 

 

Now back to my doctor's appointment where nothing in the world would've ever prepared me to learn of Dr. Reecard Farché AKA Anklepants. An EDM artist hailing from Berlin who has an adept skill with animatronics who says that the music scene where he's from totally sucks and he took things to an awesomely new level.Some EDM artists like DeadMau5, Marshmello or Daft Punk wear masks on stage which have been their insignia, been their identity, and do cool shit on stage like light up, sequence to music, and shoot out smoke. 

 

Mr. Farché Pants has taken this shit to a new level. His mask does a little more than light up. It's even a little scarier than your average Slipknot and Mushroomhead mask. His mask has a giant 11 inch' penis for a nose. Not only that, we must talk about the animatronics of the penis nose, because depending on the frequency, tempo, and and pitch of the song the penis nose dances/moves with the song. That's right, a dancing penis nose, the time is now.

 

If you think his dancing penis nose wasn't enough, it can also cum on you. Yup, don't get too close, (unless that's your thing) because he fills the penis nose up with fluro, (the stuff in glowsticks) and shoots it into the crowd. He has an album called: Social-Patching-And The Pixel Pageant Facéd Boy each song title rolls right off the tongue.

I know that there are a ton of other interesting artists out there that I've missed from the past and present, even up and coming. Crazy and awesome ones like Mayhem, The Residents, Dethklok, Babymetal, John Cage and who can forget the late G.G. Allin with his heroin fueled poop flinging. 

 

 

If there's a band that you think there you think that should be on here please:

 

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